If you ever wanted to know what the differences are between the two versions of Windows XP, Microsoft published (in 2001) everything you need to know. It doesn’t include what comes in Service Pack 1 or 2, and most people wouldn’t know what some of the services are, but it’s still useful if you’re in need of a new PC.
You can find out what the difference is between Windows XP Home and Professional here.
An Illinois lady left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. Her husband was on a business trip and was planning to meet her there the next day.
When she reached her hotel, she decided to send her husband a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which she had written his email address, she did her best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, she missed one letter and her note was directed instead to an elderly widow, whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
DEAREST HONEY: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.
P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.
Beta: 2 Build: 5384
Finally, after some time, I have received my test copy of Windows Vista Ultimate edition from Microsoft. My review on the successor to Windows XP will cover installation, features and thoughts. So far I can say that Windows Vista (formally codenamed “Longhorn”) sports some excellent new additions and improvements, and will lead the way to more powerful computer processing.
After backing up my data and installing the Windows Vista Upgrade Advisor, I simply loaded the CD, filled out some information (my name, the Vista Product Key, etc.) and the program took care of itself. After a little longer than an hour, Windows prompted me to enter some more information about my user account, the default language(s), time and some other details. This process took about five minutes, and the computer was ready. It is definitely much easier in Vista to set up a computer than in XP. There was no need to partition the drive or even look at a black MS-DOS screen. Users are given the option to make a clean install or upgrade the computer (from Windows XP, 2000, NT and before). The only problem I believe may cause problems is that Vista comes on a DVD. You’ll need to have either an internal or external DVD player in order to install Windows when it comes available.
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”
“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a bill.”
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
Three months after my last post about Office 2007, Microsoft has released Beta 2 of the software. With the release of the 3rd major test copy of Microsoft Office (Alpha, Beta 1 and now Beta 2), we are beginning to see most features setting in stone. This release has few or no noticeable updates or added features, as it was mainly created to squash bugs and fix security flaws. The only changed ‘thing’ in Office 2007 that I could notice was that the Quick Print icon now has a lightening bolt to show you that it will not display the printing dialog.
The benefits of this Microsoft Office 2007 trial version for the public is that anyone can download it and take a peek. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Office 2007 is the best version of Microsoft’s powerful word, slideshow, publishing, spreadsheet programs to date.
A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver’s door. “Is there a problem Officer?” The policeman says, “Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?” The driver responds, “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.” “You don’t have one?” The man responds, “I lost it four times for drink driving.” The policeman is shocked. “I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.” The policeman says, “Why not?” “I stole this car.” The officer says, “Stole it?” The man says, “Yes, and I killed the owner.”
At this point the officer is getting irate. “You what!?” “She’s in the boot if you want to see.”
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. The senior officer says “Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!” The man steps out of his vehicle. “Is there a problem sir?”
“One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”
“Murdered the owner?” The officer responds, “Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?” The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
The officer says, “Is this your car sir?” The man says “Yes,” and hands over the registration papers. The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.”
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. “Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner.”
The man replies, “I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!”