The Machets’ Blog

Orkut is a new way to communicate. Orkut is an online community where users can talk about absolutely anything, including pets, computers, food, games, travel and more. At the time or writing, Orkut has still been avaliable by invitation only. According to Google, the creator of Orkut, the reasoning for keeping the service invitation only is so it “…won’t grow too large, too quickly and everyone will have at least one person to vouch for them.”

As a user, you can create a new topic or contribute to another. You can talk about anything you like such as your hobbies. Orkut is an excellent way to communicate and has many added features that many of its competitors lack. Orkut is adfree, has a clean and simple interface, and doesn’t cost a cent.

Recently, Google migrated Orkut accounts onto its database, so you need to have either a Google Account, avaliable from google.com/accounts, a Gmail account or another participating Google service.

Thanks to the Machets’ Blog, you can now join Orkut. Simply send us an email by clicking the contact us link to the right and you’ll be able to join the thousands of active users online.

An airliner was taking off from New York’s Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom: “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth flight, now sit back and relax… OH MY GOSH!”

Then there was silence. Afterwards, the captain came back on the intercom and said: “Ladies and gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking the flight attendant brought be a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee on my lap. You should see the front of my trousers!”

One passenger then remarked, “That’s nothing. He should see the back of mine!”

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of
bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek
medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to shit on someone’s windshield

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, “I can’t get out of the room!” “You can’t get out of your room?”; the captain asked. “Why not?” She replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

A little old Sicilian man lived alone in the hills behind Palermo. He wanted to dig his tomato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Ciccio, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Ciccio, I am feeling bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
For heaven’s sake, don’t dig up that garden!
That’s where I buried the BODIES….
Love, Ciccio

At 4 am the next morning, the Carabinieri and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Ciccio

Many of us have heard of Skype, a fantastic way to talk to friends, family and business partners through your computer for free. Each day, over 150,000 people are downloading this excellent program. Skype currently has more than 50 million registered users, and was bought by online auction giant eBay for US$4.1 billion last month.

Skype dominates the free VoIP industry, with many more users using the internet phone than AOL Instant Messenger, Yahoo! IM, MSN Messenger and the like. The line quality using Skype is surprisingly good, even though it goes through your computer. The downfall of Skype is that you must have your computer on and connected to the internet in order to receive calls, and you must be at your computer to talk. On Skype’s website, you can find a short informal movie that tells you how it works.

The great thing about Skype is that, for additional fees, you can make and receive normal calls. You can call overseas for the price of a local call using SkypeOut. Another premium feature of the program is SkypeIn, which does the opposite. You are given a real phone number and can receive phone calls from any standard telephone in the world. For those more interested in Skype, you can buy a telephone that connects to your computer. In the future, registered eBay users will be able to talk to each other using Skype, which no doubt will make transactions faster and less complicated.

Skype is a free program, and you can make free calls to other Skype users provided they are online. For extra charges, you can subscribe to a voice mail package that is just like an answering machine. Skype has many great features, including conference calls and text chatting. It is always being upgraded; new features are constantly poping up!

Skype can be installed onto any operating system. It’s free to use for calls between two computers. To get it, click the picture below to go to the download page. If you know us, please drop us a line and then we can start talking! Go to skype.com to get started.

Google Maps lets you explore the world from a bird’s eye view. You can view a lot of Sydney, some of Melbourne and also other areas. For those that know their way around, America and the UK have excellent maps that include names of various places.

To view Google Maps, simply go to machet.com.au/blog/googlemaps.html. If you would like to search for various locations, you can go to maps.google.com.

If you’re impressed with Google Maps, you should try out Google Earth. Google Earth is a great program with better quality images and many more features. Also, parts of Sydney are marked with maps, and a lot of the world is much clearer. Like almost all of Google’s inventions, Google Earth is completely free for the home user. To run this program, you need a relatively new computer (Ideally a PC no older than 4 years or a notebook no older than 2 years) but many computers should work. Google Earth can be downloaded at earth.google.com

To get going and download this amazing program, simply go to earth.google.com.

Update: For a more recent version of the maps, go to machet.com.au/blog/googlemaps2.html

Recordable CDs and DVDs are great tools for everyone. CDs cost under a dollar each (cheaper in bulk) and DVDs cost a dollar upwards. You also need a CD/DVD writer so you can record your files. The problem with these two discs is what you find on the packaging. Typically, you can find something like CD-R, which means it is a Recordable CD. If the letters RW append this, your CD is ReWritable. DVDs are the same, however with rewritable DVDs you can only add to your compilation until it’s full, then completely erase the data on it and start again.

So, you now know what R and RW mean. There is something more that is added just to confuse. There are CD-Rs and CD+Rs (and DVDs in both types). There is nothing substantially different with the two formats, other than different technologies. We won’t get to that in this post. Basically, when buying CDs or DVDs, you can choose any type as long as your burner is compatible.

Now, to top it off, a year old technology is available called Dual Layer, or DL. This means that you can find a DVD-R DL. Dual Layer technology is very good, because it allows you store almost 9gb of data, video or music as opposed to the original 4.7gb discs. You also need a compatible DVD burner. In the next six or so months, rewritable DVD DL discs will become available, so if you plan to buy a DVD burner, wait until they come available so you will have the most compatible drive.

An airplane was flying from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced, “We have lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it will take 7 hours to get to New York.”

A little later, the pilot announced, “A second engine failed, but we still have two left. However, it will take 10 hours to get to New York.”

Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced, “A third engine had died. Never fear, because the plane can fly on a single engine. However, it will now take 18 hours to get to New York.”

At this point, one passenger said, “Gee, I hope we don’t lose that last engine, or we’ll be up here forever!”

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, “And get me a whisky you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls, “And get me another whisky now!”. Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such slackness the man tries the parrot’s approach, “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee, go and get it now or I’ll kick your ass”.

Next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, “For someone who can’t fly you’re a bit lippy!”